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Cory Curtis: Week 7 NFL Power Rankings

Sports

New York Jets quarterback Sam Darnold throws during the first half of an NFL football game against the Dallas Cowboys, Sunday, Oct. 13, 2019, in East Rutherford, N.J. (AP Photo/Adam Hunger)

Week 7 in the NFL is here and after a wild Week 6 there’s sure to be a bit of a shakeup in my weekly Power Rankings.

Let’s kick the tires and light the fires!!!

33. Miami Dolphins (0-5) – Yes, after coming up a 2 point conversion away from victory the Dolphins move up from my imaginary 34th spot to my imaginary 33rd.

31. Washington Redskins (1-5) – They almost lost to the Dolphins. They’re lucky they’re not 32.

30. The Bungles (0-6) – Could there be 2 winless teams drafting this season? This offensive line is DREADFUL. The answer is NO though, they play the Dolphins week 16. I smell FLEX GAME!

29. Atlanta Falcons (1-5) – How can this defense be this impossibly bad? The Eagles have to be humiliated for their 20 point performance against this bunch week 2.

28. Arizona Cardinals (2-3-1) – This is one of the more surprising records in the league… They have 2 straight wins over numbers 28 and 29…

27. New York Jets (1-4) – There was an old satirical super hero called Mystery Men a while back, in that move Paul Reubens (PeeWee Herman) played “The Spleen”… I guess Peewee Herman plays Sam Darnold in the Jets movie. I realize this makes NO sense, it’s just how my mind works.

26. New York Giants (2-4) – How is it so many teams are playing such soft schedules? The Giants are Cards will have 3 wins after this week, they play eachother.

25. Tennessee Titans (2-4) – This offense is completely broken. They don’t look like they believe they can do anything right now. Can they fix it? They’ll have to prove it to me first.

24. Tampa Bay Bucs (2-4) – 5 interceptions from Jameis Winston! I hear consistency is the mark of a champion!

23. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-4) – They are who they are, but they’re headed for 4-4 with the Bungles and Jets up next.

22. Denver Broncos (2-4) – Two wins in a row over two struggling teams in the Titans and Chargers. They’re not good, but they’re good enough to beat teams that can’t get out of their own way.

21. Cleveland Browns (2-4) – This may be too high, but I’ve got sooooo many bad 2-4 teams to rank some of them will unfortunately be placed too high. Don’t worry they’ll get destroyed by the Pats and will take their spot among the bad 2-5 teams next week.

20. L-A Chargers (2-4) – Again, why is this team 20? Are the others behind them really worse? I look at this team and shake my head, something is broken and my first inclination is to always blame Ken Whisenhunt, so let’s do that again 😉

19. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-4) – If you would have asked me before the game who “Devlin Hodges” was I would have said Nicole Kidman’s character in the Adam Sandler classic “Just Go With It.”

18. Philadelphia Eagles (3-3) – The National Media loves this team. Reality is they are 3-3, but Sal Pal loves’em so that’s what matters!

17. Detroit Lions (2-2-1) – They deserved to win Monday night, but they’re the Lions and they’ve got losing down to a science.

16. Baltimore Ravens (4-2) – Biggest fraud in the NFL just stacking wins against terrible teams.

15. Dallas Cowboys (3-3) – 2nd biggest fraud in the NFL just stacking wins against terrible teams.

14. Oakland Raiders (3-2) – Back to back wins over the Colts and Bears! Who would have thunk it?

13. Los Angeles Rams (3-3) – Jared Goff just threw for 78 yards… In a game. That’s with Sean McVay, with Cooper Kupp, with Robert Woods and with Brandin Cooks. I mean, how?

12. Indianapolis Colts (3-2) – A bye week after holding the Chiefs to 13 points and that was without Darius Leonard and Malike Hooker.

11. Buffalo Bills (4-1) – Another national love affair that’s underway that I just don’t understand… Josh Allen.

10. Chicago Bears (3-2) – The story of this season is how good is Mitchell Trubisky once he returns. If he’s not better than he was before he was hurt let the QB grumbling begin.

9. Carolina Panthers (4-2) – Boomer use to say “no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills!” Move aside, now it’s Ron Rivera. He’s done it again with 4 straight wins without Cam Newton.

8. Houston Texans (4-2) – If they can keep Deshaun Watson standing he’ll put up enough points to be in the MVP hunt.

7. Minnesota Vikings (4-2) – And just like that Stefon Diggs is on pace for 1000 yards and 10 TD’s this season oh and they look really good again.

6. Kansas City Chiefs (4-2) – Back to back losses at home to the AFC South! Who saw that coming? More important the offense looks mortal.

5. Green Bay Packers (5-1) – I mean seriously is there a team in the NFL that gets more breaks and calls to go its way than the Pack?

4. Seattle Seahawks (5-1) – Russell Wilson has to be the leader in the MVP chase. He elevates this team so much.

3. San Francisco 49ers (5-0) – Yep, I’m starting to believe because they can play defense. They’ve surrendered only 10 points the last 2 games combined and no more than 20 in a single game.

2. New Orleans Saints (5-1) – From an offensive powerhouse to a defensive powerhouse. Sean Payton showing he’s not one dimensional.

1. New England Patriots (6-0) – Unfortunately it’s not this week, they’ve got the Jets.

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